We all go through change: meet people, leave people, people leave us, change jobs, new things opening, things closing, people moving from here to there, buying, selling, and all the like that are just part of life. Regular life hands us plenty of opportunities to get comfortable with change, that's for sure. And for some, it never seems to get easier, but as we grow up and advance in our years and our wisdom, we get better at dealing with change (because you know what they say, practice makes perfect!). Since the departure of my houseguest in mid July, as my last post described, Korea has both given and taken away a lot in my life. I will say now that if anyone ever has the urge to work on being able to deal with change better then Korea is the place to go. Everything here (at least in my portion of the world known as Korea) is on hyper speed fast forward. There are so many people so close together (literally on top of each other at more times of their life than not) and an attitude of "get it done and get it done 10 minutes ago!" is so prevalent I don't know how these folks are not double fisting Valium and Vicadin like candy. Everything is bahlie, bahlie, bahlie (fast, fast, fast) in life here and that means the changes come as close together as the people are crammed.
With these changes coming so fast and so often, you begin to get a bit desensitized to them. It's almost like change overload and in order to cope and deal, you have to just allow everything to be extremely fluid. You can't hold on to much of anything (or anyone) for long. It's nearly impossible to be sad for more than a few days about the loss of someone or some thing because there will be someone/thing else to fill the vacancy before the space even reaches room temperature and your heart can fully mourn. Not to mention the fact that there will also be at least six additional changes thrown your way within a day to help distract you from what should have been a very sad loss. Similarly, the high of the good things/happy times seems to be short lived as opposed to amplified. To say that life in Korea is a roller coaster (literally and emotionally) is extremely accurate. Here is a list of some of the changes/semi-major events of the past month that I can remember. This is not a complete list by any means.
When my heart needed it most, I was shown sublime kindness and got an extremely needed helping hand. Then a beat later, lost connection with this person as it was time for a relocation.
Began what would prove to be one of the best pen pal relationships I have ever had.
A new, temporary Korean teacher, Sylvia, started to help with camp.
Camp started and an influx of smiling, beautiful children came into my school, my life, and my heart.
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| Two week students on final day of camp |
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| Stella. Such a beautiful personality. Will miss her. |
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| Hayden, Louis, Harry, Nick, and Max |
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| Paul. He knows the capital of EVERY country. |
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| Angela. Such a sweet little girl. |
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| Mel and I and an important book... |
I met two beautiful souls that I could not be more thankful for.
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| Welcome friend! Maggie and I in Busan |
Started to feel like a real teacher: finally settling into what it is that I'm doing here.
Realizing that though I say and believe I have let go of some things, the emotional connection to them remains long after. It's one of those "time heals all wounds" kind of things. Guess it just hasn't been long enough yet.
Saw the first group of summer camp kids leave, which was somewhat sad, but refreshed with the second group and some from the first week returning to GEV for our two week summer camp.
Feeling the level of my patience waxing and waning, but knowing that the amount of patience I have now far exceeds that which I possessed only a year or two ago.
An influx of gratitude for so much that it is too innumerable to list all the things here: but I am creating yet another list of 100 things that make me happy and am having no problems compiling it to say the least.
Got into my very first two-wheeled vehicle accident (not my fault, by the way).
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| The left knee post scooter incident |
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| The left forearm post face first slide |
Got to experience what it is to heal in Korea; the slow, sometimes two steps forward, one step back process (both physically and emotionally).
My first typhoon and monsoon.
So many things and changes that I am missing out on back home: babies, kids growing up, parties, people, new jobs, moves, job changes, going back to school, economic and political nonsenses, starting school/university, family reunions, and all the things that have not been relayed to me here so far, far away.
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| My Smith family reunion |
The confrontation of a festering issue at work, directly followed by a resolution, and a friendship.
From the looks of the weather report, the change of yet another season here on the island. Though they tell me rainy season is over, I have a hard time believing it, but the temperatures are suggesting that summer might be.
All the ups and downs that come with building a relationship with someone, regardless of the nature or intention of it.
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| Michael, my fav, and his fav teacher |
Syliva's signing of a year contract as a permanent teacher with GEV.
The continued formation of a much needed friendship (for both of us).
Korean coworker Michelle's last day Friday.
The news of another Korean coworker's departure on Monday.
Though it has not happened yet, the departure of two coworkers in 6 days time.
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| The foreign coworkers at my white-trash dinner party on on my "porch". Vicki*, Jessie, Sarah*, Kneath. *departing coworkers |
Again, though it has not happened just yet the forthcoming change is there: the arrival of two new foreign teachers and thereby the culmination of weeks of anticipation for so many reasons. But suffice it to say that I feel like a piece of home is coming to Korea and I couldn't be happier!
And lastly, the departure of a randomly acquired friend who though we didn't get to know each other as well as I would have liked (due to language barriers and time sensitivity of our friendship), will be greatly missed as the heart and soul of people speak the same language and need not be in the same room or country to continue their conversations.
This is now my time to pull some things out of my mind and put them into the universe where they will have the power to make changes, move someone, or touch someone's heart. These words may never be read by the person or people that I am speaking to/about, but that doesn't make their existence any less real, powerful, or purposeful.
To those of you that have left my life here in Korea (or possibly forever): I want to put into the universe my infinite gratitude for having had you in my life for whatever the amount of time I was blessed with. Thank you for sharing a part of your life with me. You will be missed, despite the rapid changes that Korea puts me through, and you will not be forgotten.
To those that have been added to my life (for whatever amount of time): I am thankful to have you and am cherishing you in these moments. Thank you for sharing this portion of your life with me in this place, in this space, at this time. You are shaping me and I am grateful.
To the universe and Korea: Thank you for teaching me what it is to settle into change (however much of an oxymoron that statement may be) and teaching me so many life lessons. I feel that when I leave Korea I will be able to handle any of the changes that life throws my way with composure and some form of grace as practice will prove to produce perfection. I am beyond grateful for the good, the bad, the happy, the difficult, the seemingly insignificant to mundane, and the (my) world-changing redesigning you have laid out for me because I know that it is all for my betterment.
So on this rainy, overcast Saturday afternoon, I raise my coffee mug in a toast to change. One of the only things in life you can be assured of. Cheers!
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